In February of 2004, I was driving to work when I noticed that the pad of my left thumb had gone numb. By the end of that day, I had developed a tremendous pain in my neck/shoulder. Within days, I was at the doctor's
for evaluation, having nerve conduction tests and an MRI. I was told that I had very mild carpal-tunnel syndrome, but nothing
surgical. The pain, however, had become so intense that I could not hold my head up straight, turn it to the left, or
hold my violin on my shoulder. I saw a number of specialists, to no avail. I then started seeking help through alternative
treatments, such as chiropractors, acupuncturists and massage therapists. I even took up yoga. While I did
find some mild relief from these activities, I was not able to hold my violin for more that a couple of minutes. All
performing stopped, and I only used my violin for teaching, and even then only on rare occasions.
During this period in my life, I started questioning my purpose, goals and desires. I had spent the majority
of my adulthood practicing, performing and teaching. Suddenly, I found it difficult to teach and impossible
to practice (an activity that I love). I started thinking about switching careers, or becoming a public school
orchestra director. Then in the fall of 2007, I decided I'd like to share what I knew about violin technique with
others in the form of on-line video lessons. All of my wonderful teachers had given me so much valuable information,
I felt a sense of obligation to them and a need to share what they had given me. I was able to talk about
violin techniques, and play just enough to make the point.
At this same period, I was reading
Rick Warren's A Purpose Driven Life, which helped me focus my thought process. As Mr. Warren says
"knowing your purpose simplifies your life." He also quotes George Bernard Shaw: "This is the true joy
of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish,
selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."
Over time, and with the help of a physical therapist, I have come to understand
that my pain is caused an over-development of muscles on the left side of my body, trapping a nerve. I am out of
balance! I stretch every day, often every hour. I have also been working to create balance through specific
exercises. This may never "fix" me, but it gives me hope. As Rocky Balboa says "nothing is over
'till it's over". I would not choose to go back and change the past few years, it has given me a sense
of direction I never had before. It has also made me a better teacher. Perhaps I can help my students avoid the
problems I've had.
